This draft is an important step forward, focusses on the right goal
and has a lot of good material.  We love to bash the politicians and
manufacturers, but it is crucial for us to recognize the importance of
*individual* education and action, and that is what this SAI is all
about.

But the current draft would benefit from less "moralizing" and more
"inspiration".  Last year our congregation unanimously voted to
send in SAI feedback which included this text:

 [UUCB] Recommends that these efforts focus on positive, inspirational
 messages; providing education and encouraging openness rather than
 evoking guilt; recognizing that different people are under different
 constraints and are at different points in this journey.

It is important to include some themes around our moral
responsibilities, but it needs more than a few paragraphs that lift up
the many personal benefits of the paradigm shift we're talking about.

The title should also reflect this view.  We hate the notion of
pushing people to be "consumers", even responsible ones.  What would
an inspirational title be?  How about:

 "The Joy of Shifting from Irresponsible Consumption to Deep
 Ecology."

 "Hope for the Future: Shifting from Irresponsible Consumption to
 Voluntary Simplicity."

 "Reducing our Personal Footprint on the Earth - a Responsibility and
 a Joy."

The specific goal is to reduce the individual pattern of
overconsumption that threatens ourselves and our future.  But adding
more language to inspire people with, for example, teaching about
Voluntary Simplicity, Deep Ecology and visions of a more natural world
will be more effective than vague references to moral costs and
values.

There need to be some references to our cherished Seventh Principle
and the Web of All Existence.  Perhaps some language reflecting Wendel
Berry's notion that what is good for world is good for us.  Some
language on the beauty of natural processes that sustain cyclical
flows of living things, and how joyous it is to get into that flow.
The great sanctuary that is the earth.  Decentralized, self organizing
systems that embody the essence of life.  Dealing with the delicate
but crucial issue of population from a personal perspective.  Looking
at our impact on the earth as a "footprint" - how gentle can we make
it?  Cost savings from insulating houses.  Cheaper and healthier to
eat lower on the food chain.  Spiritual benefits of more time, less
clutter.

While the focus is on individual action, in the section where
political action is discussed there should be a push for more support
of research on environmental issues, alternative energy sources, etc.

Here are some more specific comments:

Line 27: drop ", or the moral cost"
Change "moral cost" to "ultimate cost" elsewhere.  Or "integrated cost"
or refer to economists notion of "internalizing costs".
After line 46: a paragraph about the personal benefits of the paradigm shift.
55 "consume resources": we need to move from a notion of "consumption"
 to a model of a continuous circular flow, using recycled materials, etc.
59-63 drop sentences on the "dominion" theme, starting with "Moral
values" and add some Seventh Principle stuff.
114: drop the word "difficult"
116-117: after "personal sacrifices that will be necessary", drop
	"but we recognize....success." and change it to
	"and we welcome the many short-term personal and societal
	benefits at the same time.  We are inspired to make the
	world a better place for future generations."
117: Change "socially responsible consumption" to "treading
 lightly on the eearth".
118-119 - replace "thou shalt" language with something more
positive.


Responsible Consumption as a Moral Imperative
# individuals: jackie, joni, neal, rhonda, sarah, karen, 
	sarah - not "deep eco", but ditch "responsible" and "consumption"
		does need some "should"
agreement: 3
impression: 3-4
springboard: 3
define: 3